Introduction
Masturbation, also colloquially known as wanking, jerking off, or jacking off, is defined as “the act of touching and stimulating erogenous zones of one’s body and/or one’s sexual organs for the purpose of sexual gratification and usually, orgasm”.
Masturbating is considered normal and healthy as it contributes to a positive awareness of one’s sexual health by allowing individuals to explore and experiment what feels good sexually; and where and how they like to be touched to induce arousal and climax.
That being said, there is a time and a place for such self-explorations, and being caught with your hand down your pants can usually lead to awkwardness and embarrassment. In this article, we’ll be looking at the Top 10 most embarrassing places people can get caught masturbating.
Family Gatherings / Family and Relatives Homes
When visiting family and relatives, one must be mindful of the fact that they are sharing personal spaces with other members of their family and relatives. It’s a well known fact that nobody likes to think or acknowledge their parents having sex and parents certainly don’t want to be privy to seeing their children in compromising positions. Therefore, getting caught playing with yourself when visiting your folks or *gasp* your grandparents! can be pretty embarrassing indeed.
If you really feel the need to “clean the pipes”, make sure to lock the bedroom / bathroom door and/or wait until you’re alone in the house. Also, if you need some auditory and/or visual stimulation to get your engines revving, make use of your headphones but keep the volume at acceptable levels so you can still keep an ear out for any movements outside.
School and Work
Many would argue that after getting caught by family and relatives doing the hanky-panky (alone or otherwise), getting caught by teachers, colleagues, and bosses is similarly mortifying. Not only that but schools and workplaces are considered public spaces and it’s socially deemed inappropriate to rub one out while you’re at work or school. Best to keep it in your pants or skirt until you get home.
Public Bathrooms
It may seem private but it’s called a public bathroom for a reason; and while to some, getting caught playing with yourself by a complete stranger may not be as embarrassing and awkward as getting caught by someone you know, it’s still not a great idea to jerk off in a semi-private place such a public bathroom. Wait until you’re home; sometimes the anticipation can act as delicious foreplay that’ll lead to more intense and memorable orgasms.
Cinemas
A traditional if somewhat cliché first date activity, it’s sometimes not uncommon to find couples cozying up to each other and canoodling in the last row while pretending to watch a movie. However, sneaking feels and necking aside, going full throttle and masturbating in the cinema is not only highly embarrassing if you get caught but extremely inappropriate and disrespectful to your fellow cinema goers. Keep things PG-13 max even if the movie you’re watching is tempting you with some titillating imagery. Store it in your spank bank for later use.
Public Transport
People have been caught in all kinds of suspicious and compromising situations on public transport but acts such as watching porn and jerking off on buses, trains, subways, trams etc. is both extremely inappropriate and embarrassing for everybody. Depending on where you are in the world, it can also get you arrested for public indecency (or worse!) so try to temper that hard on or ache between your legs by reminding yourself that the thrill of orgasming in a public setting is just not worth the possible jail time.
Parks
Another favored location for couples on dates, especially during the warmer spring and summer months, people are bound to indulge in some PDA while picnicking or soaking up the sun with their bae. However, that does not and should not give individuals the incentive to sneak in a quick wank, especially since a park is a highly public area frequented by many members of society, including families and children. It’s not only absolutely mortifying for those who are caught with their hand(s) down their pants but extremely embarrassing and possibly traumatizing for the unsuspecting person(s) who catches you. Work off that pent up energy by going for a run instead.
Changing Rooms in Shops
Another public setting that provides the illusion of privacy, individuals and couples with a kink for doing it in public places have been known to use changing rooms at clothes shops to get frisky with each other and themselves. Aside from it being wholly inappropriate to do anything sexual with yourself or others, it’s also rather unhygienic as changing rooms are designated for people to try on clothes they may or may not purchase. Save everyone the embarrassment and trouble (and a potential lifetime ban from the shop!) and wait until you get home to do naughty things with yourself.
Places of Worship
Getting frisky with yourself in a place of God might just be one of the biggest sins you can commit! You may also end up sending the pastor, priest, or nun up to heaven a little sooner than their time should they be the ones unfortunate enough to catch you with your pants around your ankles.
All jokes aside, do not masturbate in a place of worship; it’s not only embarrassing if you get caught but it’s disrespectful of a place designated for contemplation and prayer.
Your Car Parked in a Public Place
While you may think you’re afforded a measure of privacy in your own car, be aware that your car has windows on all sides. It’s very easy for some poor unfortunate soul to walk by and get an eyeful of you beating the meat, especially if it’s broad daylight. Keep it in your pants and drive yourself home if you need to cum that badly.
Locker and Shower Rooms at Gyms, Swimming Pools, Fitness Centers etc.
Just because you’re getting naked in front of strangers in order to shower and change doesn’t mean you can or should put on a show for them. It’s not only embarrassing, awkward, and inappropriate but it also brings about issues of consent. Limit your activities in these places to changing and showering until you can get home to flood the basement.
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